Inner Silence
by HiveMind
Summary: Being the Avatar means more problems than one, and accepting things you can't change. Korra's POV; takes place after The Aftermath. Oneshot.


Characters belong to Mike, Bryan and Nickelodeon.

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Night on Air Temple Island was very quiet. Dark, but quiet.

But then again, so were we.

The airship deposited us back in Republic City, near the Police Headquarters. News of what had happened at the Hiroshi estate had already preceded us, so it was a few more hours before we could even get to our intended destination. Tarrlok was both angered and concerned about the lasting effects that the unsanctioned raid could have for the benders of the city and none of us could dispute his words.

Nice to see you care so greatly about the world's only living Avatar, _councilman._

The weight of his glare rested solely on Chief Bei Fong. It backfired spectacularly; even though she knew she had clearly failed, she managed to retain her dignity even as she explained the doomed mission. None of the resignation that she had shown in mine and Tenzin's presence surfaced here. And even as she informed Tarrlok of her plans to step down as chief of the police, there was a gleam in her green eyes that both impressed and frightened me at the same time. Truly she was not a woman to underestimate, as I had learned from working with her. And I _could_ learn a few things from her…

Even Bolin had nothing to say as we made our way to the island by ferry. Tenzin was by my side protectively, hovering like an arctic hen over its chicks. His expression of grave concern had remained unchanged from the ship ride and even through the impromptu meeting with Tarrlok, which he lamented he would have to attend yet another tomorrow to deal with the fallout behind the raid.

"Not that I would like to," he mentioned sotto voce so that none of the others could overhear, "but I believe now that it is even more imperative that you step up your airbending training. Element mastery...especially against the weapons that the Equalists have now..."

He couldn't bring himself to finish. I knew he wouldn't speak of the underlying issue, that he nearly lost me as well. And I, him. He _was_ the only airbending master left in the world after all. And I still needed to demonstrate complete mastery over all the elements. The tests I'd taken at the compound in the South Pole were nothing compared to what I was facing.

Being the Avatar was harder than I thought. Never has this hit me harder than now. But the world needs me to bring balance, whatever that may be.

I didn't even realize his hand had been on my shoulder until the cool air betrayed the place where his palm had warmed it. I was glad when he left me alone to my thoughts, and gladder still when the first lights of the island grew ever closer, signaling that we had reached our destination.

We disembarked on the pier and I figured out too late that Tenzin left it to me to show everyone to their rooms. I could barely control my grimace at this when Mako and Bolin stood in front of me expectantly. I jerked my head, indicating that they follow.

The spare rooms of the temple were on the far side of the compound, mercifully, away from my room. Bolin seemed dismayed. Mako's face was stoic as ever and Asami...well, she just seemed numb. I really felt bad for her. It's never easy to do the right thing. As much as I'd hate to admit it, we were more alike than we knew. I risked losing her and Mako's friendship because of my suspicions, but I was doing what I felt was right. It was the right thing but that didn't make it any better. What she did to her father took real courage.

"Korra..." I looked over at her pale face in the darkness. Her eyes were red and raw from her crying and her usually pretty face seemed haggard. "Thank you."

"No need," I waved dismissingly. "You would do the same for me. I know that, Asami."

She smiled, but it was a pained smile. I smiled back encouragingly and even grasped her hands to show that I bore no ill will against her in spite of what her father had done. "Go rest now. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

She nodded and entered the room that would be her residence for the foreseeable future. I gestured to Bolin where he and Mako would be staying. "Bathroom's that way; breakfast is served early so there won't be any sleeping in—"

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," I lied and put on a reassuring smile. "This time you did the rescuing, remember? You saved me from much worse."

Appealing to his ego was the only way I knew to keep him from diving into my psyche. It worked. Scratching his head, his youthful face broke into a gentle smile and he lifted a hand to cover my shoulder. "We're even. Besides, even if you're the Avatar, you're still my best friend, Korra."

His words were genuine like always. I liked that Bolin was honest with me instead of thinking me a weapon or some kind of Pai Sho tile to be manipulated in the political field. Giving his hand a squeeze, I scratched Pabu behind the ears and bade them good night. Mako had long since disappeared and it didn't take a scientist to figure out where he was.

I walked down the long hallway and opened into a run once I was out of Bolin's sight. I hated lying and especially to him. I'm usually never good at it. Of course I wasn't fine! How could I be? Oh, let me count the ways…

One of the greatest men in Republic City was now our enemy. One of the toughest women I knew has to quit her job to save face, to say nothing of the men lost under her command. And then there was the worst…

Naga lifted her head when I entered my room, her short and shaggy fur gleaming brilliantly in the moonlight. Her tail wagged when she saw me and I bent momentarily to touch noses with her. Her presence was something I could always be comfortable with. She was the one creature I knew with absolute certainty that could always be honest with me and that would never use me. Is it any wonder that I considered her my best friend in the entire world?

"I'm glad you don't have anything to worry about, girl," I whispered to her in the same manner I had when I was a child. "I'm very glad."

She briefly licked my face before resuming her nap. At times I was slightly jealous of her. I was jealous that she didn't have the foresight that I did or the awareness of time. She didn't have to worry about the world hating her for what she was or living under the constant threat of having her bending abilities removed. I tried to mimic the poise she'd shown just moments before and slid into bed, fluffing a pillow and turning pointedly on my side.

And all I thought about was him.

It was better for us this way. Better for me. After tonight, I was certain that I couldn't be anything to Mako other than an acquaintance…the Avatar, as he referred to me. I was more right than I knew when I told him this had nothing to do with Asami. Even though we'd known each other for a significant amount of time now, Mako still didn't trust me. No matter. As long as there are people that do, then I know how to stand up for myself. And I didn't need him right now.

I never needed him.

It was hard to convince my raging emotions of this, however. My facial muscles tightened against the salty burn of tears.

When I came to, the first thing I was aware of was the stickiness of those tears on my cheeks. Fortunately no one could see my annoyed scowl in the darkness, but for what reason had I awakened? It was still night, for one thing. Then I briefly remembered that the moon was approaching full and likely the reason for the offset of my sleep.

Naga didn't stir as I left the confines of my room, traipsing barefoot down the hall. The night air was cool and a familiar guest to a South Pole native such as myself. I could sleep in this if Tenzin would let me. There was a great view of the bending arena from my side of the temple but looking upon it would only dredge up the feelings of guilt once more. As I walked nowhere in particular, I paid close attention to my feet upon the earth and thought about Lin and how she sensed the tunnel underneath the Sato estate. I wonder if she could teach me how to do that someday. Someday…when we were on amiable terms, of course.

Nearby I could sense the surf against the rocky walls of the island and I felt my chi surge in response. Briefly my thoughts turned to Tahno. I hoped he would be all right. There was something disturbing about his demeanor when we met in the headquarters; his cocky attitude was almost preferable to the broken man he was now. Sure he was a jerk, but no one deserved to have their bending ability removed. But how do I fix the problem? How _do _I deal with Amon? And how do I show the world that benders are not to be feared, that we are needed just like everyone else? After the events from earlier, my job was going to be harder than ever before.

"Oh…"

Mako was standing outside, as near to the drop-off as the temple design would allow. He was facing in the direction of the bending arena…which also happened to be in my general direction. For the love of…why me?

He didn't seem to notice me…for all of two seconds. _Perfect._ Any other time the island would be blanketed with fog, so now I couldn't even provide a cover for my escape. And now he stood there waiting for me to join him. _Spirits._

The fastest way to him was to cross the break in the sea cliff; going the long way would have destroyed my resolve. This would have to be quick indeed. I couldn't maintain the water column in the arena while pursuing Amon (the limitations of the pool were probably the reason), but with both the moon and sea at my disposal…

I bent up some water columns to use as stepping stones, absently wishing Master Katara had been there to witness the feat. If Mako was impressed he didn't show it, but then again, he wouldn't. However he was kind enough to help me across the railing, not that I needed it. And almost immediately he resumed his post, continuing to stare out at the ruined arena.

"Couldn't sleep?"

He shook his head. "It's too quiet here."

I filtered a bit of humor into my tone and leaned against the railing in blatant mimicry of his stoic poise. "Now who doesn't get out much, city boy?"

He smiled a bit at my antics and I relished the small victory before gravity dampened his expression once more. "How's Bolin?"

"Asleep once he hit the pillow. Then he started snoring and I found Pabu curled around my head."

My cheeks dimpled in a smile at that. Good ol' Bolin. "And Asami?"

"She cried herself to sleep. This is rough for her."

_As I knew it would be_. _And now for the hardest question of all…_ "Are you all right?"

He stood up, hands falling to his sides. I fully expected him not to answer and was about to spit out a response before he effectively cut off the effort. "I don't think so."

Without knowing I was doing so, I tapped my fingers together nervously, much like his brother would do in moments of awkwardness. Then he said my name with an undercurrent of solemn harshness that captured my attention right then and there. "Forgive me…but you never told me what happened when you challenged Amon."

"Oh, that? We met, exchanged recipes and threats and parted ways. My real reason for chasing after him was for the secret ingredient he put in his—"

Mako shot me a glare that was both severe and gentle at once that caused me to wilt instantly. I pressed my lips together at the memory, which I clearly didn't want to remember. Tenzin was the only one with the knowledge of what happened—not even Bolin knew—and I had never planned to tell Mako anyway. It was a good thing he was well versed in reading my reactions and expressions so I looked him squarely in the face. I let him see the suppressed agony and fear behind my eyes…the feelings of helplessness, of inadequacy. Of not knowing what to do.

It was enough. There was the barest slouching of his shoulders in regret and he faced away from me as if in shame. "…I see." Then before I could comment, "Everything you do only proves just how much of a coward I am."

"Mako," I began but he wouldn't let me finish. "You're the most selfless person I've ever met. You didn't hesitate in helping me look for Bolin when he was kidnapped. When Amon attacked the arena, you went after him in spite of your own fears. And the hardest thing for me to believe is not the fact that you rightfully accused Hiroshi of dealing with the Equalists, but that you never implicated Asami once in your pursuit of the truth."

I was stunned to silence. And rightfully nervous, for this wasn't like Mako at all. Somehow we had switched roles; I was the closed one and he was opening up more than I'd ever seen him do. He finally turned to me with a shy smile. "I know why you did what you did earlier. I think my problem now is that I wasn't there for you when you needed someone."

Shrugging, a wide grin brightened my face. "I'm the Avatar, Mako. I think I can handle myself pretty well."

He scoffed humorously, then held out a hand. I put mine in his thinking he meant to hold it but found myself pulled into him and being squeezed tightly to the point of gasping. "Sure," I heard him say above my head, "you're the Avatar. But you're also _Korra_…and not a very good liar."

_Stupid raging emotions._ But there was something different about his hug, something telling. Something saying we were more than like siblings, more than friends, not quite lovers, not quite the _other_. There was something here that we shared that he and Asami did not.

I could live with this. I'm a strong person.

Mako released me and though a smile remained on his face, his expression still remained serious as ever. "Never again, Korra."

I raised an eyebrow at him before turning away to look at the coastline of Republic City. "This isn't like you, you know. I think I like you better when you're giving me the silent treatment or sniping at me."

"You are _such_ a bad liar." On the other side of the railing his fingers sought mine and I indulged him, enjoying his provided assurance that I could count on him if I needed him.

I was glad that the night air could cool the temperatures that betrayed my body to his deduced assumptions. It felt like a considerable weight had been lifted from my shoulders so now I could focus on more important things ahead. "Hey," I muttered lightly when it appeared we were going to lapse into companionable silence, "at least it's no longer quiet, right? Riiighht?"

Mako shook his head in equal parts rueful amusement and mocking agreement. Together we looked out at the city, the distant sound of the surf providing ambient background noise to our vigil, our internal struggles silenced for now.

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